For this second Trialogue event in Gosport, 17 people attended. Of those 15 had lived experience, 7 described themselves as a carer or family, 11 as professionals and 9 as interested public.
NB: Trial for online involvement too, did not go so well as connection wouldn’t work!
Opening question : How does social media impact on our mental health and wellbeing?
Part I
Understand what we see isn’t real life, when in repetitive cycle and feel like crap we are only seeing 1 second of someone’s life.
Its proved that it can be detrimental to compare.
That one moment does not represent the whole of that person’s life.
‘Soap operas’ – can see some on social media that are very negative
Can be amazing though for those who are less able to still connect in person.
Gate way tool.
Can be crucial. Many service users are on it, it is a main gateway into so many things now.

Night and Day
not afraid to ask online, harder in person.
Some can be more confident online even if very shy
Anorexic family member definitely influenced by others
we have to be responsible with use.
trolls, bullies can access kids etc.
need to be places to go to to report
great thing if used responsibly
FB, Twitter and chat rooms etc lots of mental health being talked about
monitoring of chatrooms – someone needs to check them
some are ok, no one can post anything that isn’t monitored.
Young people with poor mental health can’t socialise in person sometimes
gaming communities can be the way people socialise.
with mental health – wakefulness online can be useful for keeping busy overnight.
Parents do research to check it out and guard against the darker stuff
gaming – we don’t know what’s out there. Problem is distinguishing between what is real versus what isn’t. Can be really frightening.
When it’s people you care about
no idea who people are ‘hanging about’ with
worry re how people are being influenced.
deep philosophical conversations are had that may not be time for day to day eg deep conversations regarding gambling that have had a positive impact.
Anything negative stays there
it’s the public face, so likely to be good, socially comparing is risky
why frighten?
Private/public interface
seems a risky thing
? lack of understanding
sometimes an age thing
youngsters don’t have that fear

My Kind of Web
doesn’t always add up – generation gap
Need to be aware of privacy level of app and trustworthiness
‘people book people’, need a connection to engage
you can’t help others is you can’t help yourself
perception that other things you have a perfect life.
being honest about health is important for other people so they know they’re not alone.
Make sure people know you are a real person
contacts from the past, should the family allow the meeting to happen for someone with MH issues!
Need to be cautious as can put people in vulnerable positions
Facebook is like a journal of life
memories from the deceased can pop into your timeline, some comfort or further distress?
Can see how it may get others down
Boundaries online are an issue, some pour everything out
If it is your only outlet then so be it
level of education matters, not so good if very naive
can overcome inhibitions that way too eg social anxiety
Personality development can be influenced by it. sending and receiving of images which occurred due to lack of understanding of privacy settings.
You can be a different person on social media
Sexualising of young people is a real danger
Social media can play a significant role in development
some roles like lollipop lady have face to face opportunity to share others need to be able to share online – a way of opening the deal for other people.
Easier to vent at a screen then a person.
comfort in being able to vent.
More and more people rely on social media rather than real people
Difficult to bond with someone online in the same way as face to face
Is there a shift in cultural sharing?
No – our culture has changed every evolving as we are
social interactions are different now
we no longer know our neighbours
we can be in a large group and still feel socially isolated.
Not getting non-verbal communications online but loads don’t get them anyway!
We constantly evolve – is this just the next step?
Minorities may need social media, so you don’t feel so alone
Neighbourhood watch – facebook page helps and now there is a great social network connect together
Parents need to restrict access for kids
Terrific benefits to social media connecting with old friends
upsides and downsides, lots of benefits and lots of bullying and abuse too
depends on who you are as to what you experience
Having actual people contact helps.
There is a neurological effect from likes
When up at night social media can help it go swiftly
Chat rooms can be deserted and can be really helpful for sharing tips.
fake profiles are a worry
very good chat rooms for company and are open 24hrs due to international nature of some of them
Pharmacies get lots of people coming in with requests for support, they don’t want to trouble the dr.
There is an ager related gap many don’t have computers still, older people, so they can’t access services orknow where to access them
If computer is part of paranoia this can also be a problem
so much now refers us to a website instead of a service as their initial contact
Is the internet always a suitable way of accessing services? – no
people accessing often haven’t heard about a service via social media
We need face to face contact too otherwise how to people get information about support?
Where can people go to?
Self-help, this is needed because the system hasn’t got the resources to cope
Part II- how do we improve information sharing across the generations?
Sharing information via places eg pharmacies would work but those coming in are not social media users necessarily.
Paranoia and anxiety, about using the internet. When slightly non-conformist almost feel to invite an attack from others.
Face-to-face remains important for those for whom social media isn’t an option. How to access those who are socially isolated?
information newsletter might be a good idea to be shared with others

The Over Sharer
lots do this already, posters too
places you can just turn up are important
nothing like having a room full of people
entice people with food
sitting down like family
social interaction is crucial
mixing up new and old, need to do both, mix generations
balance, need to move with the new but not throw out the old
young people don’t know any other way than social media
older ages are dealing with change
life is an experiment
some don’t even have landlines anymore
some can be encouraged to engage
instant access can be a revelation to some
education matters, people fear things they don’t know
fear. we are taught to fear things it’s a natural emotion
with mental health often people have more fear linked to that
there’s nothing wrong with not being on social media
its through sharing experiences that we learn
allows empathy for others
look how popular I am, can be pleasing
speed of change is extraordinary, can be really stressful
if have strong work ethic and are passionate about what you do can create a real pressure, emails etc..
very stressful, wouldn’t it be lovely to slow down a bit again
tiring and exhausting
feel pressured to think quickly when many need time to reflect before responding
You tube – can really open up your world. really positive ripples
now instant reactions expected
can misread. no time to process.
allows for flexibility fo where you work.
Boundaries again, set your own
‘seen messages add a pressure
Maybe acknowledge that you will reply but when
Paranoia sets up when a message is seen but not responded to
mish mash of distance and connection, equating online presence to physical presence
view that older people supported by the younger generation. younger people expectations are instant but older lot not being visited in a way that might have been expected historically.

Eye to Eye Contact
social expectations are changing
councils often only use online now
this excludes so many people who don’t use online
word of mouth most important for many, talk to people
not everyone can read
learning difference is ignored that way
Vulnerabilities, people lying online
Word of mouth, more old fashioned but seems to be important again
In past decades we saw information in places where it would be regularly available, now these places don’t know or won’t put it up for fear of promoting something they might get a backlash from. GP surgeries for example.
online directories which people could access on our behalf if they had time would be good
word of mouth still incredibly important, only way to access those who are really very isolated.
lots of places won’t put information out
Mental health services for example, not one of them know what local services are available.
funding has been cut and cut, it’s online because it doesn’t cost as much
There’s no longer time for face-to-face, it’s very poor
cost versus compassion
The whole world is in your front room now
The impact of social media is having unforeseen influence on isolation
See more of it now, social isolation
is it inevitable that we accept technical innovations?
used to be everyone cycled then no one did, now so many do again. Things go in cycles.
Young people begin to reject social media as olders are using it now
things may be rejected
Should we have more faith in human nature?
Mental health and creativity, and the impact of being outside, these things can impact on wellbeing
how can we educate those in power that those on the front line need to know what could be available locally?
how can we , as a community bridge the gap regarding lack of information on next steps to tackle isolation?
Next questions decided is: How can we , as a community, bridge the gap regarding lack of information on next steps to tackle isolation?