Gosport – March 2018

For this second Trialogue event in Gosport, 17 people attended. Of those 15 had lived experience, 7 described themselves as a carer or family, 11 as professionals and 9 as interested public.

NB: Trial for online involvement too, did not go so well as connection wouldn’t work!

Opening question : How does social media impact on our mental health and wellbeing?

Part I

Understand what we see isn’t real life, when in repetitive cycle and feel like crap we are only seeing 1 second of someone’s life.

Its proved that it can be detrimental to compare.

That one moment does not represent the whole of that person’s life.

‘Soap operas’ – can see some on social media that are very negative

Can be amazing though for those who are less able to still connect in person.

Gate way tool.

Can be crucial. Many service users are on it, it is a main gateway into so many things now.

Night and Day

not afraid to ask online, harder in person.

Some can be more confident online even if very shy

Anorexic family member definitely influenced by others

we have to be responsible with use.

trolls, bullies can access kids etc.

need to be places to go to to report

great thing if used responsibly

FB, Twitter and chat rooms etc lots of mental health being talked about

monitoring of chatrooms – someone needs to check them

some are ok, no one can post anything that isn’t monitored.

Young people with poor mental health can’t socialise in person sometimes

gaming communities can be the way people socialise.

with mental health – wakefulness online can be useful for keeping busy overnight.

Parents do research to check it out and guard against the darker stuff

gaming – we don’t know what’s out there. Problem is distinguishing between what is real versus what isn’t. Can be really frightening.

When it’s people you care about

no idea who people are ‘hanging about’ with

worry re how people are being influenced.

deep philosophical conversations are had that may not be time for day to day eg deep conversations regarding gambling that have had a positive impact.

Anything negative stays there

it’s the public face, so likely to be good, socially comparing is risky

why frighten?

Private/public interface

seems a risky thing

? lack of understanding

sometimes an age thing

youngsters don’t have that fear

My Kind of Web

doesn’t always add up – generation gap

Need to be aware of privacy level of app and trustworthiness

‘people book people’, need a connection to engage

you can’t help others is you can’t help yourself

perception that other things you have a perfect life.

being honest about health is important for other people so they know they’re not alone.

Make sure people know you are a real person

contacts from the past, should the family allow the meeting to happen for someone with MH issues!

Need to be cautious as can put people in vulnerable positions

Facebook is like a journal of life

memories from the deceased can  pop into your timeline, some comfort or further distress?

Can see how it may get others down

Boundaries online are an issue, some pour everything out

If it is your only outlet then so be it

level of education matters, not so good if very naive

can overcome inhibitions that way too eg social anxiety

Personality development can be influenced by it. sending and receiving of images which occurred due to lack of understanding of privacy settings.

You can be a different person on social media

Sexualising of young people is a real danger

Social media can play a significant role in development

some roles like lollipop lady have face to face opportunity to share others need to be able to share online – a way of opening the deal for other people.

Easier to vent at a screen then a person.

comfort in being able to vent.

More and more people rely on social media rather than real people

Difficult to bond with someone online in the same way as face to face

Is there a shift in cultural sharing?

No – our culture has changed every evolving as we are

social interactions are different now

we no longer know our neighbours

we can be in a large group and still feel socially isolated.

Not getting non-verbal communications online but loads don’t get them anyway!

We constantly evolve – is this just the next step?

Minorities may need social media, so you don’t feel so alone

Neighbourhood watch – facebook page helps and now there is a great social network connect together

Parents need to restrict access for kids

Terrific benefits to social media connecting with old friends

upsides and downsides, lots of benefits and lots of bullying and abuse too

depends on who you are as to what you experience

Having actual people contact helps.

There is a neurological effect from likes

When up at night social media can help it go swiftly

Chat rooms can be deserted and can be really helpful for sharing tips.

fake profiles are a worry

very good chat rooms for company and are open 24hrs due to international nature of some of them

Pharmacies get lots of people coming in with requests for support, they don’t want to trouble the dr.

There is an ager related gap many don’t have computers still, older people, so they can’t access services orknow where to access them

If computer is part of paranoia this can also be a problem

so much now refers us to a website instead of a service as their initial contact

Is the internet always a suitable way of accessing services? – no

people accessing often haven’t heard about a service via social media

We need face to face contact too otherwise how to people get information about support?

Where can people go to?

Self-help, this is needed because the system hasn’t got the resources to cope


Part II- how do we improve information sharing across the generations?

Sharing information via places eg pharmacies would work but those coming in are not social media users necessarily.

Paranoia and anxiety, about using the internet. When slightly non-conformist almost feel to invite an attack from others.

Face-to-face remains important for those for whom social media isn’t an option. How to access those who are socially isolated?

information newsletter might be a good idea to be shared with others

The Over Sharer

lots do this already, posters too

places you can just turn up are important

nothing like having a room full of people

entice people with food

sitting down like family

social interaction is crucial

mixing up new and old, need to do both, mix generations

balance, need to move with the new but not throw out the old

young people don’t know any other way than social media

older ages are dealing with change

life is an experiment

some don’t even have landlines anymore

some can be encouraged to engage

instant access can be a revelation to some

education matters, people fear things they don’t know

fear. we are taught to fear things it’s a natural emotion

with mental health often people have more fear linked to that

there’s nothing wrong with not being on social media

its through sharing experiences that we learn

allows empathy for others

look how popular I am, can be pleasing

speed of change is extraordinary, can be really stressful

if have strong work ethic and are passionate about what you do can create a real pressure, emails etc..

very stressful, wouldn’t it be lovely to slow down a bit again

tiring and exhausting

feel pressured to think quickly when many need time to reflect before responding

You tube – can really open up your world. really positive ripples

now instant reactions expected

can misread. no time to process.

allows for flexibility fo where you work.

Boundaries again, set your own

‘seen messages add a pressure

Maybe acknowledge that you will reply but when

Paranoia sets up when a message is seen but not responded to

mish mash of distance and connection, equating online presence to physical presence

view that older people supported by the younger generation. younger people expectations are instant but older lot not being visited in a way that might have been expected historically.

Eye to Eye Contact

social expectations are changing

councils often only use online now

this excludes so many people who don’t use online

word of mouth most important for many, talk to people

not everyone can read

learning difference is ignored that way

Vulnerabilities, people lying online

Word of mouth, more old fashioned but seems to be important again

In past decades we saw information in places where it would be regularly available, now these places don’t know or won’t put it up for fear of promoting something they might get a backlash from. GP surgeries for example.

online directories which people could access on our behalf if they had time would be good

word of mouth still incredibly important, only way to access those who are really very isolated.

lots of places won’t put information out

Mental health services for example, not one of them know what local services are available.

funding has been cut and cut, it’s online because it doesn’t cost as much

There’s no longer time for face-to-face, it’s very poor

cost versus compassion

The whole world is in your front room now

The impact of social media is having unforeseen influence on isolation

See more of it now, social isolation

is it inevitable that we accept technical innovations?

used to be everyone cycled then no one did, now so many do again. Things go in cycles.

Young people begin to reject social media as olders are using it now

things may be rejected

Should we have more faith in human nature?

Mental health and creativity, and the impact of being outside, these things can impact on wellbeing

how can we educate those in power that those on the front line need to know what could be available locally?

how can we , as a community bridge the gap regarding lack of information on next steps to tackle isolation?



Next questions decided is: How can we , as a community, bridge the gap regarding lack of information on next steps to tackle isolation?