This Mental Wealth Trialogue event was the fourth virtual one to take place during Covid 19, on 18 May, as part of the Mental Wealth Academy programme funded by Awards for All, National Lottery. Nine people attended. Artwork is by Claire Holloway, inspired by themes brought up in the discussion.
Question: Can we live with a suspension of trust for the time being?
Revisit background of question
Difficult time being in limbo
Trust in the government, trust in whom
Stimulating thought and reflection it can be what ever you want
The background was of mistrust, feeling caught in limbo
All we have to hang onto is a set of ever changing rules that you don’t necessarily believe in
Strange time to be in. Suspending trust.
Organising meals indoors with family etc now it doesn’t quite make sense about what went before.
Generally people do not know what or who to believe.
As go thorough the different states for people with mh issues, everything has been a barrage of misinformation. Being given sole responsibility so we are only given
It is hard to trust ourselves, can’t rely safely on others
Can’t get the reinforcing relationships that we have needed.
Some friends and family breach rules
Are they doing the right thing? Loving them but wondering if they are trustworthy with you own health
The isolation that it brings feels hard
How to trust my own judgement
Learning to trust myself is hard
How do I feel physically, what is a persistent cough etc.
It feels like there are no grown ups
We need to know that somebody knows what they are doing.
Makes it very difficult if you have any kind of mental health issue
What is the answer – nobody knows
Gov not only do not know but they are also self interested and that fuels the feeling of mistrust
We just have to get on with it, even though we don’t trust them we have to follow what they say.
Often is the case that people are not quite trustworthy eg no I haven’t been drinking when they have
One has to find a way to navigate this.
We pursue trust, we probe
The language of trust allows for that probing, the currently situation with suspension of trust
Masks – do they work or don’t they?
Lots of contradictions re rules to follow
Lack of services have a further toll
Science has provided a bit of a bedrock for some
Find a way of growing that language of trust
Who do I trust and who do I want in my life, who do I want to invest my time in
Who has gifts for me and who doesn’t
Allowing that to grow
Finding the common threads and communities we want to be in communion with
Would we have had time to do that without the pandemic
Our busy lives sometimes prevent us making a change
Real change needs a big event like a pandemic to shift things
The concept of trust is interesting
We have black and white way of looking at it
It lies in a spectrum, so politically or government I don’t really trust
There is not dialogue as such
How does gov briefing relate to my world
What does community mean?
It depends on the collective, each has their own interpretation this effects the leve of trust in each environment
Last year in lockdown, there were some increase in the sense of community, people responding to each others needs
People were willing to help each other and look out in a way they would not have thought of before
This was really valuable, something different was happening.
As we are coming out, it is more isolating because there is the fear that people may go back to how it was before.
Many want change
It exposed inequality and isolation and selfishness
The way our society sanctions focusses on competitiveness and not trusting each other.
It would be good to see different sorts of values.
Could we envision a new way of doing society?
Listening rather than putting our own opinion
Learning to hear where people are at in terms of looking after their own loved ones and themselves
If others are doing the best they can for themselves that helps you trust them
Was worried that others in my community would enforce their viewpoint on me then over time I created other community, which is different to that which was there before.
Disablement has been flattened out as all were in the same boat,
Now going out again, need to negotiate stairs etc again
With online communities it has opened u a whole new world of living there.
It is like leading two lives
We need to move to hybrids and disabled will miss out again.
It has been a lifeline.
Perception of others – knowledge of disability is removed by all of us just being heads on screens. Less assumptions made about disability.
Some have been relieved by the restrictions as they feel like everyone else now.
It has been a great leveller in that way
A more hybrid effect is welcomed but we need to learn more about the effect on those who are restricted by ‘normal life’
In a working environment Employees have had to trust in their workforce that we would do the job we are paid for
It has been a relief, work exacerbates things sometimes the environment was a challenge, since being at home it allows one to be ill without judgement, work just as hard but can manage your own well-being instead.
The thought of having to return to a space where many may watch and judge is hard
Some of us work better at home
The man has had to trust us
Men don’t admit to MH issues as well as others
That is a problem
Sometimes men say so little to each other.
Sexism doesn’t serve anyone
It is especially miserable for men not being able to talk about their health
Is working from home a way we can reset the care for self and working
Some structure is needed otherwise we might not work at all or some might work ourselves into the ground
We don’t necessarily want all the responsibility
Some create timetables for themselves, this can still make stress
Attempts to create routine and structure failed for some and this can lead to feelings of failure
Many like the freedom to do things as and when
The flexibility over when to work and when to take a break is invaluable
We are all a bit different and respond to different demands.
Is this about trusting ourselves
If you have difficulties then trusting yourself can be really hard.
Is trust vital to mental well-being?
If you have really severe anxiety and can’t trust yourself then you need to rely on the health service and gov etc. This leaves a feeling of being bereft if you realise that they don’t know either.
Living without trust for any length of time is not possible
Trust in something is the core of everything
We can’t abandon trust eg the morning will come it is blind faith then but we trust it each day
The problem is achieving trust
If trust is so vital to well-being why is it so difficult to achieve?
This a helpful fundamental basis, with anxiety, when we do not know if we can trust people, is thin=s mistake deliberate or just a mistake.
What matters is understanding that there are certain basic things that we all trust and sometimes having faith in other people is part of that.
If you can’t trust anything around you then you are in crisis, we are all here because we ahe at some point put our trust in others.
Even when we have been hurt time and again we still learn that some people are trustworthy
Different levels of trust for different people.
What stops men from having an honest conversation about mental health?
What can we do in order to break down gender biases? To change the situation?
If trust is vital to mental well-being how come it’s so difficult to achieve?
How we reach men is an issue.
If we take the genders out of it: Mental health issues are prevalent – What stops people from discussing what they are going through? What did it take for us to reach out and/or did we?