Online May 2021

This Mental Wealth Trialogue event was the fourth virtual one to take place during Covid 19, on 18 May, as part of the Mental Wealth Academy programme funded by Awards for All, National Lottery. Nine people attended. Artwork is by Claire Holloway, inspired by themes brought up in the discussion.

Question: Can we live with a suspension of trust for the time being?

Revisit background of question

Difficult time being in limbo

Life in Limbo

Trust in the government, trust in whom

Stimulating thought and reflection it can be what ever you want

The background was of mistrust, feeling caught in limbo

All we have to hang onto is a set of ever changing rules that you don’t necessarily believe in

Strange time to be in. Suspending trust.

Organising meals indoors with family etc now it doesn’t quite make sense about what went before.


Generally people do not know what or who to believe.

As go thorough the different states for people with mh issues, everything has been a barrage of misinformation. Being given sole responsibility so we are only given

It is hard to trust ourselves, can’t rely safely on others

Can’t get the reinforcing relationships that we have needed.

Some friends and family breach rules

Are they doing the right thing? Loving them but wondering if they are trustworthy with you own health

The isolation that it brings feels hard

How to trust my own judgement

Learning to trust myself is hard

How do I feel physically, what is a persistent cough etc.

It feels like there are no grown ups

We need to know that somebody knows what they are doing.

Makes it very difficult if you have any kind of mental health issue

What is the answer – nobody knows

Gov not only do not know but they are also self interested and that fuels the feeling of mistrust

We just have to get on with it, even though we don’t trust them we have to follow what they say.

Often is the case that people are not quite trustworthy eg no I haven’t been drinking when they have

One has to find a way to navigate this.

We pursue trust, we probe

The language of trust allows for that probing, the currently situation with suspension of trust

Scratching Around in the Dark

Masks – do they work or don’t they?

Lots of contradictions re rules to follow

Lack of services have a further toll

Science has provided a bit of a bedrock for some

Find a way of growing that language of trust

Who do I trust and who do I want in my life, who do I want to invest my time in

Who has gifts for me and who doesn’t

Allowing that to grow

Finding the common threads and communities we want to be in communion with

Would we have had time to do that without the pandemic

Our busy lives sometimes prevent us making a change

Real change needs a big event like a pandemic to shift things

The concept of trust is interesting

We have black and white way of looking at it

It lies in a spectrum, so politically or government I don’t really trust

There is not dialogue as such

How does gov briefing relate to my world

What does community mean?

It depends on the collective, each has their own interpretation this effects the leve of trust in each environment

Last year in lockdown, there were some increase in the sense of community, people responding to each others needs

People were willing to help each other and look out in a way they would not have thought of before

This was really valuable, something different was happening.

As we are coming out, it is more isolating because there is the fear that people may go back to how it was before.

Many want change

It exposed inequality and isolation and selfishness

The way our society sanctions focusses on competitiveness and not trusting each other.

It would be good to see different sorts of values.

Very idealistic

Could we envision a new way of doing society?

Space for Something Great

Listening rather than putting our own opinion

Learning to hear where people are at in terms of looking after their own loved ones and themselves

If others are doing the best they can for themselves that helps you trust them

Was worried that others in my community would enforce their viewpoint on me then over time I created other community, which is different to that which was there before.

Disablement has been flattened out as all were in the same boat,

Now going out again, need to negotiate stairs etc again

With online communities it has opened u a whole new world of living there.

It is like leading two lives

We need to move to hybrids and disabled will miss out again.

It has been a lifeline.

Perception of others –  knowledge of disability is removed by all of us just being heads on screens. Less assumptions made about disability.

Some have been relieved by the restrictions as they feel  like everyone else now.

It has been a great leveller in that way

A more hybrid effect is welcomed but we need to learn more about the effect on those who are restricted by ‘normal life’

In a working environment Employees have had to trust in their workforce that we would do the job we are paid for

It has been a relief, work exacerbates things sometimes the environment was a challenge, since being at home it allows one to be ill without judgement,  work just as hard but can manage your own well-being instead.

The thought of having to return to a space where many may watch and judge is hard

Some of us work better at home

The man has had to trust us

Men don’t admit to MH issues as well as others

That is a problem

Sometimes men say so little to each other.

Sexism doesn’t serve anyone

It is especially miserable for men not being able to talk about their health

Is working from home a way we can reset the care for self and working

Some structure is needed otherwise we might not work at all or some might work ourselves into the ground

We don’t necessarily want all the responsibility

Some create timetables for themselves, this can still make stress

Attempts to create routine and structure failed for some and this can lead to feelings of failure

Many like the freedom to do things as and when

The flexibility over when to work and when to take a break is invaluable

We are all a bit different and respond to different demands.

Is this about trusting ourselves

If you have difficulties then trusting yourself can be really hard.

Is trust vital to mental well-being?

If you have really severe anxiety and can’t trust yourself then you need to rely on the health service and gov etc. This leaves a feeling of being bereft if you realise that they don’t know either.

Living without trust for any length of time is not possible

Trust in something is the core of everything

We can’t abandon trust eg the morning will come it is blind faith then but we trust it each day

The problem is achieving trust

If trust is so vital to well-being why is it so difficult to achieve?

This a helpful fundamental basis, with anxiety, when we do not know if we can trust people, is thin=s mistake deliberate or just a mistake.

What matters is understanding that there are certain basic things that we all trust and sometimes having faith in other people is part of that.

The Gender Taboo

If you can’t trust anything around you then you are in crisis, we are all here because we ahe at some point put our trust in others.

Even when we have been hurt time and again we still learn that some people are trustworthy

Different levels of trust for different people.

What stops men from having an honest conversation about mental health?

What can we do in order to break down gender biases? To change the situation?

If trust is vital to mental well-being how come it’s so difficult to achieve?

How we reach men is an issue.

If we take the genders out of it: Mental health issues are prevalent – What stops people from discussing what they are going through? What did it take for us to reach out and/or did we?

Next question: Mental health issues are prevalent – What stops people from discussing what they are going through?